Make Yourself

Overheard In The Bookshop 2

Overheard In The Bookshop 2
' I've stopped reading H. P. Lovecraft, so have you got any Heidegger ?'

' Take you what on earth on sixteenth-century oak coffee-tables? '

' I'd like to order a render new copy of this out of describe book...'

' Anyplace do you keep the books you don't maintain ? '

Shabby man, pose box of books:

' I was just on my way to the tip with these ' ere books the same as I saw your shop. I unrest you'd like to buy them '

How found ! Mmm. They're a bit unpleasant, but I'll introduce you two pounds.

' Two quid ! I energy as well launch them to a different place for that !'

(And he did ).

Would you vanquish 75p for this duty card ? After all, you're not departure to sell it !'

'We've got so numberless books at home, we've no room for any exclusive ! We've got one arise on the landing and marginal under the stairs !'

' How do you make a stimulate out of this lot of old rubbish? '

' Oh Serving dishes ! These are absolutely like the ones I tore out of a book in Sheffield Academe Library '

' Hey, this is a good book. I'll buy it in Burnley !'

' Can you keep it on order and I'll try and get it in a daze !'

Two men looking at the Bible:

' The man who wrote that call for be honest raking it in '

' I have a explanation for lb25 '

Yes, that's right

spray can you show me everyplace the lb25 books are make happy ?'.

have you got any of the Narnia novels by C.S. Lewis ? My lass wants crew

Yes, I think I've got them all. Which one do you want ?

'I want Lionel Richie and the Wear...'

'I don't what it's called and I don't figure out who wrote it, but the girl on put on the air had long grim skin '

'My son would like to figure out if you've got a copy of The Rubber Yacht of Champion Kiam '

' Take you a copy of James Joyce is useless?'

' Take you got that knitting book by Yasser Arafat ? '

' Do you have a copy of Thomas Hardy's Tess of the Dormobiles ? '

' I'm looking for a book ( or most likely books ) in print by this work Ibid...'

' Do you sell frozen chickens ? '

' Arrive on the scene, I figure out you're a bookshop, but do you by any chance sell resumption dummies for first-aid classes ? '

' Anyplace can I find teddy bears' sunglasses ? '

' Do you have any books ( note plural ) on Florence Nightingale's walking stick ?'

Nippy to need that, post-Python, some of these trade weren't having a larf. I recall that humorous pre-Python bookshop exaggeration by the late lamented Marty Feldman and John Cleese from At Stop the 1948 Stand (1967)

Client Along with be born. Can you help me ? Do you have a copy of 'Thirty Living in the Samarkand Run away with a Scoop by A.E.J. Elliott ?

Be involved with. Um...well, we haven't got it in maintain, sir.

Client. Never mind. How about ' A Hundred and One Ways to Command a Overflow ?

Be involved with....By....?

Client. An Indian work whose name eludes me for the back

Be involved with. I'm apologetic, I don't figure out the book, sir.

Client. Not to worry, not to worry. Can you help me with 'David Copperfield ' ?

Be involved with. Ah, yes. Dickens...

Client. No

Be involved with...I beg you acquit ?

Client. No, Edmund Wells.

Be involved with....I'll think you'll find Charles Dickens wrote David Copperfield, sir.

Client. No, Charles Dickens wrote David Copperfield with two ' p's'. This is David Coperfield with one ' p' by Edmund Wells.

Be involved with (a tiny proportion stoutly). Fully in that line of reasoning we don't have it.

Client. Funny, you've got a lot of books introduce.

Be involved with. We do have comparatively a lot of books introduce, yes, but we don't have David Coperfield with one 'p' by Edmund Wells. We only have David Copperfield with two 'p's ' by Charles Dickens......

Client. How about grate Expectations'?

Be involved with. Ah, yes, we have that...

Client.....That's G - r-a -t -e Expectations, also by Edmund Wells.

Be involved with. I see. In that line of reasoning we don't have it. We don't have what on earth by Edmund Wells, as a matter of fact, he's not very popular.

Client. Not Knickerless Nickleby ? That's K-n-i-c-k-e-r-...

Be involved with. No!

Client. Or 'Quristmas Quarol with a Q ?

Be involved with. No, completely... not !

Client. Penitent to trouble you.

Be involved with. Not at all...

Afterward again, honor to Shaun Tyas for respectable to republish extracts from his Excellent Bookwork Manure (1990) and also to Methuen for extracts from The Blonde Skits of Muriel Volestrangler, FRHS & Bar (1984).


" Copious honor Robin. Nippy to top Shaun's array. Of the numberless malapropisms and misheard titles that have blasted our tablet I can only recall one at this back - faction asking for 'The Seven Pillars of Neasden' and that may have been a wind-up. We did have an deep looking woman who held she had been looking for twenty living for a copy of East Lynne by Mrs Henry Plant. We inaugurate a copy for her in the crypt for lb2 which she held was a foolish price and dead (as Driff would say) "in a appeal provoked bad mood." We similar to had some partygoers not up to scratch masks of Lead Mitterand and were able to direct them to a shop 3 doors to a different place that sold them (Stephanides.) All in a day's work. "


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