It is a commonly accepted fact in psychology and reality that women want a higher status man than themselves. They want a man that's stronger, smarter, and richer than they are. For women, the worst thing that can happen biologically, outside of being barren, is to bear a weak child from a weak man. Morally-speaking, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but biology is automatic and understands only two things: survive and reproduce. And for women, their biology tells them to get the best deal they possibly can with the assets they've been given. Again, biology takes no notice of morality, that is for our mind and our heart.
For thousands of years, polygamy has been the "modus operandi" for virtually every man with a rock to sit on. To the men that survived warfare, disease, and nature, they found that there were far more women available than there were men to care for them. And so the accepted practice of polygamy arose. Polygamy has it's basis in male biology, however: a man can impregnate many women, while a woman can only get pregnant once every nine months. The male tendency/desire for variety is a genetic predisposition for virtually every man that has ever been born. And while this desire is not overwhelming or even mandated, it is there and it was once the norm for most nomadic tribes, farmers, and people living on the fringes of the world.
Both hypergamy and polygamy are destructive to advanced and mature civilizations like the West. Most Westerners have lives of relative comfort and security, they don't need to go hunting to find food, or fight off warring neighbors. The balance between the sexes is roughly 50-50 and has been for generations in the Western world. For polygamy to be possible, there has to be a surplus of women. For men to have a stake in society and a willingness to contribute productively to it, they have to have a family; when they don't, they become frustrated, lethargic, or violent. What we're seeing today is "de facto" polygamy among Alpha males having multiple girlfriends and women turning a blind, hypergamous eye to it. Alpha male hording of women denies non-alphas sexual access to a woman. The hypergamous nature of women is such that, if it came down to it, most would not have a problem with a polygamous relationship as long as the man was a capable provider and was not abusive. This is the way most of humanity operated until Christianity appeared on the scene 2000 years ago and polygamy was seen as less than ideal.
Hypergamy is as equally destructive to civilized society as polygamy because, if left untamed, it leads to serial monogamy. Women go from mate to mate in search of an ever higher status man to sleep with; reproductively-speaking, she is doing what her biology tells her to and acquire the seed of an Alpha (i.e. the son of a dominant man). Morally-speaking, what she is doing is destructive for a few reasons. She might:
1. already be married to lower status man. Keep in mind, lower status is subjective and may mean different things to different women, but it usually revolves around dominance, fame, or wealth.
2. ignore a non-Alpha that would make a better partner, lover, and provider. This contributes to the growing and bitter disillusionment most non-Alphas have today regarding women. It's not a good sign when non-Alphas form the overwhelming majority of what a stable society is.
3. already have kids with her husband. In today's world, that means she keeps the kids and the now-ex husband loses access to them.
4. abandon her kids and leave them without a mother. The draw of the Alpha male on a worldly woman (and even a weak-faith religious woman) cannot be overstated.
5. postpone marriage until her early-30s, by which time none of the men she once scorned will want her and she'll be forced to marry a lower quality man.
6. have slept with so many men by the time she's ready for marriage that, even if she is still in her mid-20s, no man would be willing to marry her or trust her. Also, the downside to the player lifestyle that many PUA's routinely fail to mention is the high-risk of STDs after sleeping with scores of women. For men with an eye on marriage, her notch count matters because of this very same reason.
The Sexual Revolution of the 1960s started the hypergamous fire that has been raging across the Western world for generations now. Whereas in an earlier time, the natures of men and women were controlled and channeled properly into marriage, today there is no such cultural standard other than promiscuity and sexual nihilism. Women have not been taught the dangers of constantly seeking a better man, and men have not been taught the dangers of sleeping with as many women as possible. Both are destructive to Western civilization because they both leave non-Alphas, "the foundation of society", with few prospects for a happy marriage. Neither polygamy nor hypergamy encourages loyalty and contentment with one's spouse; they both demand either "better" or "more", and nothing else. As the relationship between the sexes goes, so does civilization.
In order for a civilization to function, an overwhelming majority have to have a stake in the present and a belief in the future. The biology of men and women does not take into account the creation of civilization, only the continuation of one's bloodline. Should a man not have a wife or a genetic legacy, he will feel little compulsion to work for the good of the nation. Should a woman not have a husband or children, she will become depressed, bitter, and most likely poor. The civilizing effects of the Church's doctrine of monogamy is abundantly clear: for peaceful societies to exist, both sexes must have a stake in it, and when they don't, society coarsens, fractures, and fragments.
Great article and puts many key things about Biology, Mating and Procreation into perspective. I'm increasingly appreciating the traditional structure of religion and culture more as I continue to learn about this.
ReplyDelete