Humorous Romantic Resolutions For 2009 By Miss Know It All

I am not one to make resolutions for the New Year, because within a week, those promises are usually broken. Most people are good at making and keeping pledges when it comes to love and romance. However, I decided to be a contrarian and came up with twelve amusing declarations, which I really plan to execute. You might agree with me and try some of these affirmations. If they work, you can thank me; if they do not, you can still thank me. Have a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year.

Resolution No. 1 - I will search and find love and romance in all the wrong places.

Resolution No. 2 - If I meet someone and decide to get married, I will make that person sign a pre-nuptial agreement, but if he asks me to sign one, I will drop him like a hot potato.

Resolution No. 3 - On my wedding day, I will promise to be faithful unless someone better comes along.

Resolution No. 4 - I will always support my true love, even if he flat broke, behind in his child support payments or has no credit history.

Resolution No. 5 - If I find my future husband, I will not lose weight to fit into a wedding dress half my size but will continue to eat junk food as a reward to myself for finally snagging my better or worst half.

Resolution No. 6 - I will not judge a person by his looks but will definitely look at his bank statements.

Resolution No. 7 - I will play the romance card to avoid repaying a loan to my ex.

Resolution No. 8 - If I am in a committed relationship, I will make it clear that what is mine is mine and what is his is mine.

Resolution No. 9 - On my first date, I will talk about all the men who have done me wrong.

Resolution No. 10 - On my first date, I will discuss what type of wedding I desire, how much he should plan to spend on the reception and the number of children I plan not to have.

Resolution No. 11 - I will never do a background check on someone I meet on-line.

Resolution No. 12 - On Saint Valentine's Day, I will send my my ex a greeting card that reads, "Still not missing you."

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